My friend Constantine walked out of the room to go do his laundry. In doing so, he left behind his cell phone.
My other friend Frank had the bright idea of switching the number of a girl that Constantine likes with his own number; so when Constantine got a text from this chick Ashley, it's actually coming from Frank.
We were all sitting on the couches in the dorm watching the Super Bowl postgame, when Constantine gets a text from "Ashley".
It started out pretty innocent, just some small talk about the Super Bowl. Frank then took it to another level.
"U know all my roomies are out if ur.. u know..."
Constantine nearly bust a nut right then and there (more on that later). She tells him to come over around 11. There were three of us in on this, and at this point we were already biting our tongues to hold in the laughter.
"My roommates get back at 12 I think so I'm kinda anxious. Oh and bring a condom because I'm out. Come at 11ish"
We psyched out Constantine by telling him he was going to bust a nut in two seconds if he fucked her (note that she is extremely hot). He then proceeded to drink all the alcohol in the establishment. A bunch of shots. I have a video of him shotgunning a beer; "this is for Emma" . He drank a 40oz Olde English in under 30 minutes. I've never seen the kid more hammered.
After he took the shots but before he chugged the 40, we were able to sneak a voice recorder into the hood of his sweatshirt. He was so drunk it was unbelieveable. He was bumping techno music and getting himself pumped up to bang this girl that straight up invited him over to do so.
After getting incredibly wasted, the time had come to go to Emma's room. Constantine left for her room. We probably should have stopped him before he left.
The voice recording of him at her door was too distorted to make clear, but you can hear a door open and some voices, then the door closes. He came back.
"You guys definitely changed the number in my phone!"
He was belligerently angry when he saw us sitting there, unable to hold back intense laughter. There was almost a fight between Frank and Constantine. He punched a hole in the wall. He felt so betrayed that he spent the night at his sister's apartment instead of in his own bed.
We all played along so we all felt kind of mean; but we love the kid and it was the hardest I've laughed in years, so it was all worth it in the end.
The girl is cool with him, and has never said a word about it since. She didn't know he was there for sex. Her roommates were there the whole time.
I ended up putting the video on youtube. It was up there for a while until it was discovered by Constantine. He forced me to take it down.