"The Pants Story" is a fireside classic amongst my group of friends that is begged to be retold anytime we all get together. Like many "This one time…" stories, "The Pants Story" only gets better with age… and alcohol. OK, on with the show…
My college roommate and I found ourselves a bit worse for wear one Friday evening, but alas there were two fine gentleman to make sure we didn't get into any real trouble. My roommate paired off with her Knight and I with mine. After completing my Lady Part business, I headed back to my floor. But instead of going right to my room, I went to our common bathroom first, where I proceeded to take off my pants and neatly fold them over my left arm, much like a waitress would with her dishtowel at a fancy French restaurant.
I then walked down our hallway, with said pants still folded neatly over my arm and my fancy going out top on. I got to my room, opened the door, went inside and saw who I thought was my roommate returned from her dalliance and passed out on MY bed. So I did what any good roommate would do, poked her in the head and shoulder and asked her to politely "GO ON YOUR SIDE!!!" Upon which the girl in my bed turned around, and I was shocked to see that it was not my roommate at all, but in fact one of the girls from across the hall who hated me and my roommate. Now I took stock as best I could of the situation, of course at first thinking – why is hated Jill from across the hall in my bed? Then I looked closer around the room, everything looked the same, but slightly off or different – and then it hit me clear as day through my alcohol haze - this wasn't my room. This wasn't my bed. This was Jill and Ashley's room, and that was Jill I had just poked/yelled at... in HER bed, in HER room.
I subsequently freaked out, dropped my neatly folded pants and ran out of the room back into the hallway and into my actual room on the other side of the hall. It was empty. I passed out on my real bed.
Upon waking the next morning, I went to go to the bathroom and noticed a note written on Jill and Ashley's dry erase board on their door. It read: Lost – 1 Pair of Pants, Please Inquire Within. When my roommate got home, I asked her if she saw the note on J and A's door. She said, yeah she had, what about it, to which I replied – I know whose pants those are, those pants are mine!
And thus the classic "Pants Story" was born and will forever be one of our favorite "This one time…" stories of all time.