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This One Time
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What's Wrong with Baby? by Julie Miller (Funny) -
Throughout all the near-death experiences that my best friend and I have encountered, this one takes the cake.
So, this one time my friend, Rachael and I were coming home from lunch. Being young and underaged, her mother drove us back to her house. We arrived back in broad daylight. Let me reiterate, BROAD daylight. So being young, and mostly stupid, we decided to jump over her garden wall into her backyard to get into their house. I am still not sure why we didn’t just use the front door. That would have only made sense. We get over the wall and into her backyard to find her goat, Baby, waiting for us. Yes, the goat was named Baby, which turns out to be an incredible misnomer. Rachael greets her goat as usual, with a very loud, “HI BABY!” This of course grabs Baby’s attention.
Now remember, we are backed in the corner of her yard, with nothing but a concrete wall behind us. We stood there as Baby walked over to us. The goat seemed different, she seemed like she was on a mission. I said to Rachael, “What’s wrong with Baby?” Rachael didn’t have time to reply before Baby turned on us. The goats eyes literally turned red, as she charged at us. Rachael, who has raised this goat from birth, jumped in front of me to try and stop her beloved pet from attacking us. Our screams and cries garnered attention from her mother. She came around the corner just to see Baby bucking her horns our way.
At this point, Rachael’s mother was calling off the demon goat and I was trying to remember how to breathe again. We got out of there lucky, with only Rachael having a bruise on her knee.
After that incident, Baby just wasn’t the same goat anymore. Rachael’s family decided that it would be best for everyone if she went away. So its safe to say that Baby is far, far away at a breeding farm. I’ll never have to worry about jumping over a wall and being attacked again, by the goat they call, Baby.
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