I was only going to be young once and wanted to try something a little harder than pot and alcohol just to say I had. Ecstasy had pretty heavy effects on your brain, so I opted for the short-term effects of LSD instead.
For my experiment, I took LSD one weekend during the summer. The promised visual effects were intriguing, but looking into the mirror was a whole different story. At first you seem ok, but your face quickly melts into indistinctive shapes, and for a moment my ears and chin drooped pointy and I thought I was a werewolf. After a moment of howling, I decided it was best to avoid mirrors.
When morning finally came, I decided LSD wasn’t worth the lack of sleep… besides I had to work the drive-thru at a local coffee shop at 8am. And that is when I lost it.
With a slight headache, but thankfully no more “trails”, I went to work and put on my drive-thru headset. Immediately, I began taking hundreds of orders from the grumpy haven’t had my morning cup type. The first hour went ok, but as time went on I grew extremely tired.
After 4 hours, my short shift was nearing an end and the drive-thru crowd was practically gone. To leave work all I had to do was clean up the espresso machine and perform a few remedial chores over the next hour. This is when I started hearing a strange squawking, and my body began to tingle in random spots. I tried my best to ignore the sensations and not look too freaked out to my boss. But the sensations only got worse! The squawking clearly was a crow and the tingling was definitely scattered rain showers. But how could these be? I was indoors and there wasn’t a bird or cloud in sight! This is when my boss saw me staring at the ceiling as if it were going to fall. “Squawk, Squawk!” Drip Drip. I knew I was losing it and was about to make a run for the door, when my boss finally approached me.
“What the hell’s gotten into you man, you feeling alright?” I was too under slept and freaked out to lie so I told him the truth. “I don’t know man, I’m freaking out, there’s been an invisible bird taunting me for the past hour and I think I’m being followed by a rain cloud!”
My manager, (the take bong rips in the milk cooler type) quickly realized my dilemma. He then began dying laughing while I stood there completely helpless. After he finished his laugh, he turned off my drive-thru headset, so the bird on top of the drive-thru would leave me alone. Then he removed the spoon from under the cleaning faucet so it would stop raining on me.
I haven’t experimented since.