Fruit

Good use of language, though the story could have been a bit longer, it was quite a big jump from the park to the B&B.

The glass-breaking bit was very Spike Milligan. A good thing. Theres potential here. Nice to see a Brit writer. Nothing against the Yanks (who seem to appreciate short stories more than the stuffy Brits) but they seem to dominate this site!

Found the excessive profanitites... excessive, and rather immature. There are good ideas, but there are too many of them... a homeless guy who used to be rich. Good idea. But mixed up with having a job which he doesnt want and sitting in the park and smashing windows[although that joke was clever] is all a bit much. Are supposed to feel sympathy? I didnt.

GOOD USE OF LANG.

A mediocre idea poorly executed, with an abundance of profanity thrown in to make it appealling to the kiddies.

Not being funny, but having earned less than £40.00 a day myself not so long ago, I didnt ever have to rake through the bins, this leads me to believe there was more to this man than just being on his uppers. The sheer rage of this character was intriguing, reminiscent of a Bipolar personality disorder. A little rushed towards the end, but this accelaration may have been justified to reflect the mental state of the character.

Very clever story; I love the way the narrator thinks. Swearing in stories doesnt usually work for me but it fits in perfectly here-all in all a great read;)

This is one of the best stories Ive seen on this site so far. Clever and fun use of language, smashing visuals, great flow. I especially love the weeble reference. People dont mention weebles often enough.

Rudimentary idea. Although rudimentary language and imagery could have got this story up, was poorly executed and therfore a poor story.

Id forgotten Id written it. Seems so long ago now. Just goes to show you cant please all of th...etc. So I just write to please myself. Thanks for all the comments Anthony

Good one dude. I like the last part. Hi sanity was certainly challenged but then again he had a good reason too.

A good one for me and I love the swear words. More please. Funny in parts although a bit hard on Lamont but you are right he does look like an owl.

As everyone else has commented great use of
language, very refreshing. Although, I seemed to get
lost somewhere on my way to the B&B. I loved the
weeble wobble comparison.

I have only one thing to say: this story lacks in textual integrity. Who the hell is Norman Lamont???? ...why create such a character if you are not even going to explain what he did to the persona?

didnt like

I simply loved the narration though the story really didnt grip me.

I really enjoyed reading this account of how the Government can affect peoples lives, taking them from a fruitious exisitance to one of bleakness. There are omissions in the story which could have given depth to the protagonist such as did he have a family? If so what happened to them? A dramatic tale which perhaps could have done with another page of detail for charater depth but a good snap shot into his life at that particluar moment.

I must have liked this cos I cared about what happened to the character. Its based in the last economic balls up but that makes it interesting as we approach another. As a snapshot of a personal life disaster its good. Im not entirely sure about the last few lines but that doesnt mean theyre wrong.

Look at the timing for this now.

Great story.

what is the story got to do with the title?

Very interesting, page 5, paragraph 3 was the best bit of all! So, SPLENDID!
But, what has the title got to do with the story?
Lois.L.Williams

great read. loved it

That was amazing man! keep writing!