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A Most Ambitious Experiment

"Now," Robert told his wife, "I am going on a long trip. You won't see me for years, but I will come back and see you."

"Where are you going?"

"I am going into the future. I am sure you will be angry when you see me, but it won't be for long, because once I have seen you, I will then vanish again and you will see me standing in this very spot exactly five minutes from now."

Robert's wife was puzzled.

"I am curious what our 401k will do if I invest in certain options and leave them," he said. "I've decided to go twenty years into the future and see the outcome."

"What if you can't come back?"

A slight pause - then, "I hope I made the right choice."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I wouldn't make anything for me now, but, five minutes later, I will tell you what I want."

Robert left for the basement. His wife, still confused, but knowing that Robert was a puzzling man, went to the kitchen to make dinner, with or without her husband's request. She was quite unsure what to make of all of it, but, after a few minutes, she quickly forgot the conversation.

Later in the afternoon, Robert's wife walked over to the basement door and knocked. She waited. She knocked again, and, again, nothing. Finally, she opened the door and walked down to the laboratory. Robert was nowhere to be seen. She hadn't heard him come up. Where had he gone?

When supper was ready, and the light outside turned a dim color, Robert's wife called out his name, but no one answered. The house was quite still.

"I don't like this," she thought. "He's never been late for dinner before."

Robert's dinner grew cold, and his wife placed it in the oven to keep warm hoping he would notice it when he came back. In the morning, Robert's plate was still warm in the oven. He had never touched it. His wife looked for him once again and called out his name, but it was to no avail - he wasn't in the house.

After several days, Robert's wife contacted the authorities and told them what had happened. They searched the house for clues, but all they could find was a slightly discolored spot on the basement floor.

"Did he say anything before he left?" they asked.

"I'll be back in five minutes," she said.

After the authorities had left, and after several more days, weeks and months, the case was officially closed. Robert was missing, but since no foul play could be determined, it was decided that he had just deserted his wife. Robert's wife was not pleased.

Years passed, and Robert's wife was able to secure a job that kept her living slightly above poverty level. Day after day, while working, she cursed her husband for leaving her. She would never forgive him. Never! Her face became more wrinkled and the pretty smile she once wore turned into a permanent scowl.

Finally, twenty years to the day her husband had left, Robert's wife was sitting at the kitchen table when she heard a noise coming from the basement. She immediately got up in fright. Who was down there? She heard footsteps slowly walking up the stairs and - finally - the door flew open and there, before her eyes, was none other than Robert. He didn't look any different than when he had left.

"You!" she managed to say.

"Okay, what's the value of our 401K?" Robert asked.

"Where have you been?"

"That doesn't matter. What matters is the value of our 401K. I need to know if I invested wisely or not."

"You left me twenty years ago with nothing to live in and expect to find anything left of the 401k?"

"You spent it all?" Robert asked. "Oh great - that's just great. I'll be right back."

Robert turned and went down into the basement.

"Robert? Robert, where are you?" Robert's wife said but suddenly saw a brilliant blue flash of light and then nothing. Robert had vanished once again.

Robert's wife went back to the dining table. She sat down and tried to think of what had happened. Her mind was muddled. She couldn't think. The 401k had been - had been - she thought - left untouched when Robert had first left, but now - she was beginning to remember different things. The 401k had been placed in a trust. A trust where she couldn't touch the money for twenty years. Then, she remembered that when the authorities had informed her that Robert had deserted her and was never located, that she had him declared legally dead so the trust would be legally hers without waiting for twenty years.

Another flash of light in the basement, more footsteps, and Robert walked into the kitchen.

"The value?"

"I told you I spent it."

"I put it in a trust."

"I had you declared legally dead." Robert's wife said.

"Oh bother," Robert said. "I'll be back again."

A flash of light and Robert's wife was again confused.

"Did I say spent it? Spent what?" she thought. She had tried to obtain some money after Robert had left her. When she had gone to inquire how much was in their 401k, she had found out that Robert had withdrawn the money and had hidden it somewhere - but where?

Another light and Robert was there in the kitchen again.

"Do you know how much you put me through? You left me nothing to live on."

"This will all be a bad dream," Robert said.

"If it wasn't for some gold coins that I found buried in the backyard, I would never have survived."

"You found the gold coins?"

"So that's where you hid the money!" Robert's wife said. "Good. I'm glad I found it and spent it all!"

Robert went back into the basement and disappeared. His wife sat still for awhile expecting him to appear, but he never did. She got up and went to cook. She thought of her husband and tried to remain bitter against him. She suddenly couldn't think of what would make her bitter. Deserted her? He had never deserted. What an imagination she must have. As she opened a cupboard, Robert walked into the kitchen.

"Have you decided what you want for dinner?" she asked. "I haven't started making anything yet."

"Leave me alone, I'm not hungry," Robert said and sat down at the kitchen table.

"What's wrong?"

"Can't you keep your grubby hands off our money for twenty years?"

"What?"

"You can't let me leave you for a measly twenty years without spending everything we have, can you?"

"What are you talking about, honey? You haven't been gone for five minutes and already something is troubling you."

Robert looked at the wife of his youth.

What if he killed her? He could strangle her now, go into the future, see what the 401k did, come back a few minutes before, and live happily ever after.

"May I see that dish towel for a sec?"

Robert's wife handed it to him, and, much to her desperate surprise, he tied it around her neck and choked her, all the while telling her, "Don't worry, this is just an experiment."

Robert went back down into the basement, and twenty years later reappeared in a flash of light.

"Who's down there?" a man asked walking down the basement stairs.

Robert hadn't thought of this. He looked for somewhere to hide, but it was too late. The new owner of the house had a rifle.

"Say your prayers."

"Wait! I can explain!", but it was too late. Robert was immediately shot and fell backwards quite dead - a most miserable end to a most ambitious experiment.

The End.

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Comments

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Its Time Travel. Its supposed to be confusing... just enjoy the story and
dont worry about it too much.

Mind you I didnt find the story particularly original. These Time Travel stories have been done over and over. Also, lack of character development. "Roberts wife"? Does she have a name? That would be a good place to start. As far as building her personality that would need more work.

Some parts of the story are definetly working. And I do see the sense of humor shining through. For example, I like the part when he wraps the towel around her neck and says "Dont worry this is just an experiment." But overall I think it needs some work. I think the ending lacks credibility and the humoristic punch of other areas of the story.

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it was an okayyy.. story, there is betters but i figured it wasnt that bad. I liked the ending because i think that robert got what he was asking for because alll he was asking about was money!money!money! He didnt even care about his wife anymore.. in the long rong.. it was ok....... read it and find out!!!

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It was a fun story. The writing was too tight for me- too proper. The author needs to loosen up his voice a little. "Show", dont "tell" and that includes within the dialogue too. People with real personalities are more interesting and rare. I like writing that uses the senses- there was none of that here. And the ending ended like they (the writer) was sleepy and wanted to finish writing for the night- way to rushed. Havent read too much sci-fi; I dont think time travel stories should be so forbidden. To me, they havent been overdone, because Ive barely read any.

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It was a good story. I like stories with sensory description, sight, taste, touch, feel- there was none of that here. The characters lacked depth- I like to hear about who they are, where they come from, their personalities. The ending was too rushed, like the writer wanted to finish writing for the night. Show, dont tell, even in the dialogue. The writing was too tight, the author needs to loosen up his voice a little. I dont think time travel stories are overdone, but thats because I havent read very many. The story would only be confusing to someone with a lack of seing life past the norm- past somewhere beyond the edge of the world. The known universe.

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This was an entertaining story until I got to the end, which just ruined the whole thing for me. "Say your prayers"???? That quote has been done so many times its lost all its novelty. Its not creative or unique or ironic enough to have a place in this story at all, and suddenly makes the story sound like it was written by a fifth grader.

You also repeat, "but it was too late" within the space of 4 lines. It sounds clumsy as if it wasnt proofread.

And the last line (or second to last line since the last line is technically "The End"): "Robert was immediately shot and fell backwards quite dead - a most miserable end to a most ambitious experiment. "

"Quite" dead? Why is that word necessary? I mean, how dead can dead possibly be? And for all that, you really could have just left it there because what follows is just hollow self-indulgent babble meant to serve the title of the story. "a most miserable end to a most ambitious experiment." Well, DUH! Im sure the main character didnt mean to be shot dead in the experiment.

I mean seriously, why not edit out all that crap at the end and just leave it clean and impactful?

And only one other complaint, I dont like the wifes character. Pretty much the whole story happens simply because she doesnt listen to her husband because shes so absorbed in making his dinner!!?? Puh-lease! I mean, she doesnt even have a name. Perhaps Im overthinking it, but it looks like your sexism is showing.

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Um... I didnt really have as much of a problem with
it as the last guy who had commented. I forgave
the sexism because the man was at as much of, or
greater, a fault for tampering with time travel then
the woman was with the financial issues. It
balanced out. I really enjoyed the story all the way
through. I thought it was clever and it expressed
the confusion and continuous, reshaping of the
past due to time travel well. My only complaint is
that I wish it had ended with "May I see that dish
towel for a sec?" instead of the man getting shot. I
think the former ending leaves more open to
interpretation. When will this cycle end, how far is
the man really gonna go? It even ends it on a note
of dark humor, which I like. The last commenter
makes some valid points, but drives them way too
hard, makes it too personal, and (like many
comments on you tube) seems to use the
anonymity of the post to vent anger that cannot
possibly be caused solely by the short story. While
flawed, “A Most Ambitious Experiment” is one of
the more interesting stories I’ve read on this site.

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I guess I did get a little carried away with my last comment and I want to apologize for offending the writer. My complaints havent changed, though. He has a tendency to bomb the endings of what would otherwise be really great stories (in my opinion).

Of course, Im just one person, and this is just my opinion. But what I see through Mikes writing is a very talented writer, and a creative thinker who always seems to be right on the verge of being awesome, but then blows it at the last second--the story fizzles and dies. It leaves me frustrated and dissapointed when he would otherwise be one of my favorite writers on here.

Keep up the writing Mike. If you dont take my suggestions then there are evidently people who will still fully enjoy them as is, but I honestly just cant see how this story deserves 5 stars when it obviously needs work.

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I thought this story was very interesting. The thing I did not like is how the husband was so concerned about the 401k and not about his wifes happiness. I did like the twist, however. When he killed his wife, he said "This is just an experiment." But that just goes to show you live life how it is and not worry about whats to come. One more thing is this story was very confusing. Something about he was going to kill his wife, make investments, then go back two years..... Overall, very good story.

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Well, I really liked the story. Yes, the writing could have been a little cleaner, but the story entertained me. Just because a person writes well, doesnt mean they can tell a story. This author can tell a story. The writing style will improve with practice. I enjoy time travel stories, so I didnt find this difficult to follow at all. I would only change the last statement after the dash. Its author intrusion. Otherwise, great job!

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"A Most Ambitious Experiment" is very much worth reading.

For me, the plot is what makes the story, so I like how Mr. Krath doesnt spend too much time trying to "paint pictures," instead packing as much action into as few words as possible.

For a few moments in the last section of segment 2, though, I was bit confused. I think adding more explanation (e.g. including some of Roberts thoughts, etc.) at this point might make this easier to understand for the reader...but then again, it was fun for me to figure out what was happening.

Either way, I enjoyed reading. Thanks for writing, Mr. Krath.

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Even though he was shot, killing his wife and disappearing for 20 years would mean that all their stuff would be sold/willed to people, so he would have nothing anyway!
A little bit of thought would show that by the end of the story the main charactor is clearly not thinking, but overall i thought the reasoning was very well though out. Just that little bit that bothers me. Well done! :)

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I think there is a nice little story here just trying to burst out. It needs a little bit of work. That said, I do like the pace and the style of writing - not too wordy when it comes to conversations. Bad dialogue has a tendency to detract from a good-paced story. All I would say is that some of the dialogue maybe needs a little more reaism: at times it all seemed a bit stilted and unnatural. I liked the story. Keep at it - you do have talent.

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Amusing :-)

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nice story

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That was a cautionary warning against
marriage.

A man is likely to save his assets for a rainy
day. A women is likely to spend like its water,
every last drop.

Their were no expectations on her to be
prudent or listen to a word her husband was
saying, because society will not leave a poor
woman to destitution, but a poor man? well,
just take a glance at the homeless figures to
learn what society realy thinks of men who fall
on hard times.

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There was horrible! 20 years and the woman say nothing????!!! oh come on!! and this is imposible, because how the man doesn´t notice that her wife was 20 years old more than 5 minutes later!

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