The Thing You Want

Contemporary story
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The Thing You Want

Outside of what was left of Atlanta, they discovered the great brick house, hidden in a thick grove of walnut trees. The grass was so high in the yard around it that the blades had fallen over into brown clumps beneath their own weight.

They assumed it was abandoned, a prime target for a hiatus from the monotonous routine of marching and standing for reveille three times daily to identify stragglers. Since the young lieutenant was away tending to another small matter, they drifted closer and found themselves in an alternative world of silence and loneliness.

The war had not touched the house with slugs or shells. Rather, an invisible icy hand had peeled paint away and wilted flowers, leaving a dead flavor to it, as if it were somehow like one of the thousands of soldier corpses left on the battlefield unburied to slowly rot away.

They walked right up to the porticoed entrance and started to open the oak door. Someone inside, however, plucked it open first.

"What do you want?"

A withered, languorous old woman stared at them blankly.

"What do you want?" she said again, more irritably.

Cabe stepped across the threshold and brushed her aside. The darkened hallway smelled of cinnamon and lanolin, a combination that made him think of Egyptian mummies. He reasoned that the kitchen would probably be near the back of the house, so he started that direction, careful not to trip over any hidden obstacles.

"There's nothing back there," the old woman protested, pulling at his sleeve.

Cabe ripped his arm away and ignored her. There was a yellow light further along that contained the promise of something hidden.

"The only food I have is out in the cellar," she said, her voice cracking, something dying in it.

Cabe pushed a door open and discovered the kitchen, a bright room filled with hanging pots, a long bare table, and a cavernous stone fireplace which didn't appear to have been used in a great deal of time.

He also discovered a remarkable creature standing in the corner beside a large cupboard, poised as if about to climb inside. She was frozen in a moment of unbridled fear, though Cabe could see immediately that she was unusually beautiful, a rare flower on the cusp of blooming.

←2→

He stopped to study her and found that all thoughts and desires for food had evaporated into the silence. It had been months since he had seen anything that could stir that deeply buried portion of his instinct that now cried out so dramatically. In fact, he had been at home, on leave, when the last such surge occurred.

Now he looked at the sun colored dress, which made her velvet hair look like a flowery disk surrounded by daisy petals, and he realized that it was absurd to ignore it. He moved several steps closer and she still remained motionless, a statue of unknown substance, though definitely warm and alive.

"What are you doing?" Cabe asked her softly.

"Leave her alone!" the old woman said, appearing behind him suddenly with clenched fists and black marble eyes.

"Get her out of here," Cabe said, and the other soldiers complied, the door shutting behind them as they left. Cabe moved another step closer.

"What are you doing?" he asked again.

She still refused to look at him, though he could see movement now; her slender hands trembling and her lips mouthing attempts at some kind of speech.

"I'm just looking after my grandmother," she said suddenly.

Cabe snorted. "It looks the other way around to me."

He moved one more step closer.

The war was so insane. There was nothing good about it; no redeeming ethic or cause worthy of so much suffering. Beyond a certain impossibleness, right and wrong didn't matter anymore, and behavior was strictly a manifestation of the chaos around it.

No one deserved what they got, good or bad.

"You're very beautiful," he whispered.

She turned away from him to face the wall, as if unwilling to confront reality straight on.

It bothered Cabe that she did that. He reached out with one hand and pulled on her shoulder somewhat roughly until she spun around.

←3

When her amber eyes finally made unwilling but inevitable contact with his, Cabe felt a shock that was both terrible and thrilling. In her eyes was a color so startling, so unpredicted, that it almost threw him into a kind of battlefield shock. She quickly looked down, but the magnetic force had already taken hold.

"You're about the only damn thing I've seen around here that's not worth putting a slug into without any questions."

He carefully set his rifle down on the table, without taking his gaze off of her. He ran his fingers through her hair and turned her head around again.

"Where did you get those eyes?"

The shaking moved from her hands up through her neck to her face and lips. The wall was behind her; Cabe solidly in front of her.

"What do you want?" she said, her voice trembling like everything else.

"What do all men want?" he said brusquely, reaching for bright yellow petals.

At that moment someone else entered the room. Cabe had the sixth sense common to survivors of war, and he turned around to reach for his weapon.

"What are you doing?" the young lieutenant asked, picking up the Cabe's rifle and holding it in a neutral position.

"Looking for food, sir."

"You won't find it in her dress, Private. Get out of here before this rifle accidentally discharges."

Cabe tried to glare at the young officer with hatred and found he couldn't. Instead, he looked back at the girl. Her position had not changed, and her eyes were still demurely averted.

Outside, everything appeared normal again. No one asked any questions. Something inside of him was dead, though, and at the same time, a tiny spark was flickering. No one deserved what they got.

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Comments

Submitted by admin on Thu, 03/13/2003 - 08:15

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the words r so charming ,and i can get a general idea of the article ,but i do not know the background,so my simple understanding is that war is terrible for everyone,and the world is insane in the war.if u who will read my view,i would like to share yours~! my e-mail is that: [email protected]

Submitted by admin on Thu, 03/13/2003 - 08:15

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Good opening. But the second sentence with the word blades did not make sense because of the clumsy sentence structure - I had to re-read it. There are a lot of words which could be edited out, superflous ones like:Ist page monotonous routine,small matter, alternative world. Here the first word of the two is not necessary. The third paragraph starting: The war had not touched ......could be improved and made sharper. Again unnecessary words like somehow and leaving a dead flavour to it, not necessary. Short stories should be concise and still get the meaning across. A withered, languorous old woman - languorous (dictionary) means: tiredness or inactivity, especially when pleasureable. So for me this word is incorrect in this description of the woman. Dialogue:"What do you want?" she asked again, more irritably. Surely the dialogue should indicate the irritation - why tell us this? Unbridled fear - a cliqué! And the last sentence in this paragraph: In fact, he had been at home, ...... could be removed as it doesnt have a bearing on the story. The sentence: She turned away from him to face the wall, as if unwilling to confront reality straight on. Again, a case of telling when its already shown. The ending is unsatisfactory. You could take the tiny spark and work on it to give the reader a promise of something good to come out of the horror of the war for instance. Id go for a title change too. The present one says nothing about the content. Despite these criticisms, I find this a good story, worth editing a little to make it tighter, sharper. By the way, I read your biography afterwards and see you have published numerous stories and obviously are no novice writer. However, my comments still stand. They are personal however, and well-meant.

Submitted by admin on Sat, 11/15/2003 - 09:56

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ok, well maybe im not as deep as everyone else whos read this story...but, whats the deal with this ending? no one deserves what they get? im not even sure i understand the whole of what hes saying given the distraction with the girl in the sunflower dress. and what am i supposed to feel sorry for this guy because he didnt get to finish feeling up this girl. i understand hes having a hard time because of the war and all, but lets not lose all decency here.

Submitted by admin on Tue, 04/13/2004 - 20:46

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This is a sophomoric attempt. The characters come off stereotypical and the description is overdone--resulting in confusion. Read Ambrose Bierce if you want good examples of Civil War fiction.

Submitted by admin on Mon, 07/05/2004 - 22:13

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I thought the guys fasination with the girl was a bit over the top. Had he never seen a pretty girl before. And I thought it was pretty rude how he just thought he could go and touch this girl hed never met who obviously just wanted him to leave.

Submitted by admin on Sun, 07/19/2009 - 22:02

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I feel that after serving his country for what he can see is nothing, Cabe is somewhat blinded by her beauty and robbed of his morals. It was a different time in the era when this story was written which some poeple will simply never understand, women were seen for their beauty and their benefits, namely one in this story. I feel that during action in the civil war, Cabe has seen many horrific things, and therefore views what he is doing as not being so serious, his morals have been forced down a standard or two by death and hurt and want of freedom.

Submitted by admin on Sun, 05/09/2010 - 04:35

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Morals under the war
-----After reading The Ting You Want
The short fiction The Thing You Want tells a story that happens during the American Civil War in city Atlanta located in north Georgia. In the story, a Private soldier named Cabe along with his team happens to discover a house which isn’t destructed in the war. Cabe breaks into the house for food and he finds a beautiful girl there. Lust burns in his chest at that moment. Just as he is about to get much closer to the girl, a lieutenant comes and stops him from breaking the rule.
The story has a good and simple plot, but what impresses me most is the stuff behind the story which is people’s morals under the war. From my perspective, Cabe is supposed to be a good guy before the war breaks out. He probably is a good father a good husband and a law-abiding person. However, Cabe goes into the army and becomes a soldier. What he sees what he experiences on the battlefield all day is bloody and gory. So many horrific things strike him as brutal at first, but as time goes by he gradually gets used to such life and his morals and humanity go distorted. His morals have been forced to go down a standard by death and hurt and want of freedom. Just as what the author writes in the article---the war was so insane. there was nothing good about it; no redeeming ethic or cause worthy of so much suffering. Beyond a certain impossibleness, right and wrong didn’t matter anymore, and behavior was strictly a manifestation of the chaos around it. That’s right, wars are crazy, they might kill the enemies but at the same time they also ruin people’s humanity. So when it comes to the influence that wars bring to the moral level of human, there isn’t any distinction between just and unjust wars. Because just look at what Cabe does to the girl and the old woman, it is the best reflection of the chaos brought by wars.
In the ending part of the novel, Cabe tried to glare at the young officer with hatred but he couldn’t. I think it is partly because he knows the officer is right but mainly he knows he is a soldier and his mission is to obey the order. And this is exactly where the human nature conflicts with the war because the surged lust in his mind is dead due to the inexorable command. At the same time, a tiny spark is flickering inside of him. That’s the last fractional humanity struggling for survival in the cruel war and cold weapons.
The last sentence of the article is right about the theme.Yes,no one deserves what they get in the war. They might get honors glory victory or even money and beauties. But at the same time, they loss the fundamental morals and humanity. They loss the basic love and care to other people. They loss their soul.

Submitted by admin on Wed, 09/07/2016 - 11:22

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Great story but how do you leave us with a suspense. No story should end in this way, unless it will continue like a series. Without doubts I can tell that the story is well written but the ending wasnt mastered enough.

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