John Mortonson's Funeral

well done

So predictable is the use of language! I say this because I can see elements of it in my own writing. Adjective placement is so typical its sickening. Funny? no. Interesting? no.

really gud .. i enjoyed it -disha ,ca

good use of language but he could have put more sentences in it and adding more details because it stop right at the good part. Paintsviie, ky

it was pretty boring and didnt make a whole lot of sense and was pointless

cool story

Oh, this one was rather nice! I remember reading another short story by Ambrose Bierce a few days back and it was not nearly half as good. The crimson muzzle....yikes!

Good prose, but not enough of a climax and over too quickly. Like a night spent with my teenage self.

i didnt get the punchline.. was there...

it just couldnt have been worse. No point...Stupid...

in order for you to understand this story its necessary that you realize what stylistic categories he focuses on. bierce was a somewhat of a dark satirist. in this story the "punchline" comes when the cat comes out of the coffin and walks casually away. essentially what this point is showing is that nature is irreverent and unconcerned. the family mourning and the wife flailing her arms is an obvious contrast to the cat casually strolling out of the coffin oblivious to the feelings of man.

tee-hee It made me giggle someone give that cat a pat on the back crimzon muzzle indeed! ba ba ba ba ba - Im luvin it

I thought it was a great little story, particularly after a second reading.

glad some people seem to understand the point of this story, I think its not bad at all, and ironical indeed. And whats that about "adjective placement anyway"? One question: is the "crimson muzzle" crimson because of what I think?

Just attended a fumeral for a family member days ago. Related to the first comments very well. The ending put a smile on my face, and thought it perfectly done.

I like how the unexpected and the humurous happens. You think that when everyone makes a horrible face and freaks out that there was something so drastically horrible, or that a tornado was on its way, but its just the cat, the hungry cat...

I have said before of my own rather large (105 #) yellow lab, that my wife should bury me quickly lest that insatiable hound consume my very bones.
Bravo, good one.

Ha ha yes.. the cat was very hungry 8)

The cat in the end was really a morbid suprise, everything else; the weeping widow, the rain outside, seemed so cliche and the cat disrupted the pattern. Good story.

my class was lost, but then was found!!mcneal SBH CLASS hio

i thought the crimson muzzle was blood

I think this story is better filmed than written so that the humor on it could be better appreciated. THe first part of the story shouldve been made scarier. Its just an ordinary description of whats in a funeral party, nothing special or scary.
And the ending?well, its supposed to be funny if the first part had been really,really scary.Improvise pls!

That crimson muzzle drips across the funeral parlor floor as the cat slinks away from its meal. Good one. The somber notes of the funeral satirized by a hungry cat.

you are a bitch you cant write.

this story wasnt that great it needs more action

wow!

i dont kno if the cat was eating john or not its not very clear now is it.

This story was very boring. I was dozing in and out of the story. A true Yawner....*yawn*

The ones who said that it was boring, you were right. i am the type of person who doesnt sleep alot but after i read this story, i was about to fall asleep.

This story is very stupid and point less do not read. Please spare your self the time read something like twilight or the notebook something with romancy and meaning. If your too late and already read it well im soory that you had to.
With love/Kalley

Yes, this story had a bit of boringness towards the
beginning but the cat at the end was pretty funny. I
wonder how the Mortonson died though?!

This is an awesome story the actual
meaning of it is that we think too
much about the death. Funerals ,
solemn speeches, we think we should
respect the dead and so much stupid
stuff, but in the end the cat which
doesnt have all these pretensions just
uses the dead body for its most useful
purpose, nutrients.

wtf was the author thinking about this story he/she is sick,crazy,insane to think of this PERFECT story >:) From BaTTler

Nice one thanks. And good luck to take all of this very jeaulos people. Bless you

Good word choice, however I dont think it was a good humour book.

Wowwww

I thought this was very boring and is the
worst story I have read in my life
By Alisha

Fools! Ambrose Bierce is an historical
figure, a Civil War hero - and was a
prolific writer of short stories,
novels, and articles. He became famous
as a sort of curmudgeon in his day (he
died, or rather, disappeared, in the
early 1900s). If you look him up on
Wikipedia, you might be a little
surprised by the man who wrote what you
claim is boring and meaningless.
This story is obviously Bierces
sarcastic way of dealing with the
subject of death in society. Its as if
he is saying, "look, even the cat
doesnt care about all this pomp and
circumstance, so why should we?"
The people who leave comments on this
site sometimes appear brainless and
ignorant to me. You like stories with
action because you dont have to think
about them. I like stories like this
one because it makes me ponder on the
authors meaning.

Love the story but was the cat eating or
not. I dont know GRRRRR

Sounds like a major cat defamation to me. Its not a Tiger for christsake, Ambrose.

I rated your story a 3/5. I gave your
story this rating because your punctuation
and such are great. Your sentence fluency
is nice and your voice shows. I gave you
the 3 because although you have great
technique the story was not numerous and
the ending was abrupt. The ending also did
not make much sense.
Your short story partially reminds me of a
story by edger allen poe. You probably
could change the end of the story to a
more humorous ending. It seems like you
were trying to hard to get the end to be
funny.

The story works. But like a lot of fiction it has faults that show if one things a little bit. The cat would hardly be quiet inside a casket for any length of time. And if the cat did feast on the corpse there really would not be much, if any, blood. Modern embalming removes blood and what remains congeals and stains little if at all. Ever cut up a deer or do any butchering?

This short story seems to make a contrast
between the many lives of a cat and that
one chance at the life of a human. The
"crimson" adjective implies the reason the
cat was in the coffin, possibly chasing a
mouse. Which implies as well the cycle of
life. Its food for thought.

It makes no sense Im trying to find a theme for an essay